How to Avoid a Life of Quiet Desperation

I remember it like yesterday: working for a boss I disliked, in a company I didn't care about, and with colleagues I couldn't relate to at all.

"Most Men Live Lives Of Quiet Desperation - and go to the grave with their song still in them" - Henry David Thoreau.

And that's exactly how I used to feel 10 years ago, while going to work every day.

I was stuck a life of quiet desperation...

From Desperation to your Highest Potential

The opposite of being stuck in quiet desperation, is being on a path toward fulfilling your highest potential.

This is not about switching careers. Or about making more money, improving your social life, or having more free time. Although that could all be part of it.

Instead, it's about re-aligning your life, towards realising your highest potential. This means:

1) Getting a clear and deeply resonating vision for what you want out of life;

2) Aiming as high as you possibly can;

3) Exceeding your own expectations;

4) and getting a clear understanding on how to get there. It's about being able to lie on your death-bed at old age, looking back on your life contently, knowing you lived it to the fullest.

We all have our own unique goals, desires and values. But one thing is universal: the need to reach our highest potential.

Whatever that means to you.

What is your Highest Potential?

I've spent years of my life trying to figure out what I actually wanted out of life. It sounds simple, but isn't always easy to narrow down.

There were times I thought I knew...but I always ended up changing my mind.

For example:

• Some careers had good money in it, but it didn't resonate with me...

• Other career paths deeply resonated with me, but there was no real money in it..

• The big vision inspired me..but I had no idea how to actually achieve it...

• Some ideas weren't "big" or inspiring enough...

• Others weren't practical or "realistic" enough...

• ...and the list goes on.

After a while I always felt there was something missing.

My Big Realisation About Realising my Purpose & Potential

Countless books and articles are written about "discovering your purpose," but most of them leave you with more questions than answers...

Its taken me years to realise this:

Searching for your purpose can turn into a never-ending exercise. It sounds counter-intuitive, but trying to find your purpose in life, can actually prevent you from achieving it.

Because it plays on the FALSE idea, that there is only one supposed narrow reason for your existence...

And that there is only one career path you're supposedly "destined" for...

...that there somehow is only ONE thing that you'll never outgrow or get tired of...

And that way of thinking just keeps you "paralysed by analysis."

It's also just not how this works.

Instead, I argue, there are an infinite amount of possible paths towards realising your highest potential.

I developed a framework to figure it out

Over the course of many years, I developed and perfected a 4-Part Framework to get clarity and move closer to your highest potential. It's highly practical, and highly effective.

After applying this framework, you might realise one day that your life's purpose is (fill in the blank), but that's not how you start off on this journey.

Instead, you should first concern yourself with increasing your scores in all 4 domains, and the rest will fall into place with time.

The 4-Part Framework

The Framework Explained

As you can see, there are 4 parts to this framework:

1. Impact Scope

2. Impact Depth

3. Personal Engagement

4. Personal Gains

It's all about moving from Figure A) to Figure B):

The higher your work, career, and life scores in each of the 4 parts, the closer it gets you to your highest potential.

Let's go deeper into each of the 4 parts, and how to apply them to your personal situation:

1. Impact Scope

This means increasing the number of people who's lives you touch through your work.

"Brandon the Janitor" is the perfect example of someone who is doing this in a very successful way.

Brandon shares cleaning tips to millions of people all over the world through social media. At this time of writing, he has more than 500.000 Instagram, and 1.6 MILLION TikTok Followers.

Brandon is a great example of someone who turned a traditionally "low impact job" into giving value and impacting millions of people at a global scale.

Social Media can be a great tool in this, but depending on your current industry, it could also include:

• Doing workshops;

• Speaking at conferences or seminars;

• Writing books;

• Becoming a mentor;

• Running master-minds;

• Running networking events;

• and more.

As you can see: increasing your "Impact Scope" is a great way to leverage an otherwise "dead end" situation, into something you can continue to build on.

It also shows that you don't always have to get a new degree, or completely change your career to make a larger impact.

It should also serve as a warning, and important bench-mark to validate whether that new career or degree you're considering is actually worth switching to or not.

Lastly, understand that Brandon didn't need to spend months contemplating his purpose. Instead, he simply found a way to increase the amount of people he touched.

I want you to ask yourself: "How can I increase the amount of people I impact through my work?"

2. Impact Depth

These days, especially in the corporate world, people don't feel their work truly matters. And the reason for this is they don't actually see (how) their work impacts others.

"Deepening your Impact" is all about how deeply you impact people's lives. Sometimes impacting one person very deeply, can be more fulfilling than making a small impact on a large amount of people.

Examples of careers that make deep impacts on people:

• ER Surgeon

• Midwife

• Defense Lawyer

• Youth Social Worker

• Teacher

As you can see these jobs are all very intimately connected to other people's lives, and can sometimes be the difference between life or death.

Careers with less "Impact Depth" might include:

• Office Supply Salesperson

• Administrative Clerk

• Callcenter Employee

Again there's no judgement here, but these are often the types of jobs where people find themselves in "quiet desperation"...

For people in these jobs it is especially important to figure out how to Deepen their Impact on others.

This could require you to switch careers, or throw around your life entirely... But you can first try to make changes within your current situation first.

Here are a few practical ways:

Go from B2B to B2C

Lots of corporate jobs are "business-to-business" (B2B). This means you sell products or services to other businesses, but hardly, if ever, impact people's personal lives.

Switching employers, and working at a "Business to Consumer" (B2C) business might be a good way to move in the right direction.

I'm actually the perfect example of this myself:

As Corporate Recruiter, I might work with individual job seekers, and but they don't pay my bills. In the end, I mainly work to add value to a business (B2B). This was especially the case when working for an agency.

Which is exactly why I decided to also start helping individuals through my content, social media, products and services. This allows me to make deep and lasting positive impact on people's lives, and is highly rewarding. It fills me with a great sense of purpose and achievement.

Is there a way for you to switch from a B2B to a B2C employer? Or touch people's lives more directly?

Pivot Industries

This means moving across to a sector or industry that impacts people's lives in a more direct, long-lasting way.

This could be ANY sector or business you feel deeply adds value to people's personal lives. But could include: Healthcare, Education, Non-Profit, Environment, or Defence.

Ask yourself: Which industry could you move into, and allow you to make a deeper impact on people's lives?

Pivot Jobs

This could mean staying in the same industry (or not), but in a job where you interact with people more intimately. Or make a longer-lasting impact on their lives.

or example you might still decide to work in Youth Services. But you move from working as an Office Clerk, to working directly with kids in the field, improving their lives.

It's all about being able to directly see the positive impact you're making.

Are there jobs in your industry that would get you closer to impacting people more meaningfully?

Mastery

One underrated way to "Deepen your Impact" is to become extraordinarily good at what you do. For example:

• As a Waitor you can develop such presence and command of the situation, you can turn every interaction into an unforgettable experience;

• As a Sales Person you can use any interaction to make others feel better, feel acknowledged and seen, and solve their problems.

• As an Architect you can become so great that your work enhances people's lives by living and working in the buildings you design.

• The examples are endless.

Ask yourself: If I could become the best in the World at doing my job...what would that look like?

3. Personal Engagement:

The third part of the Framework you need to consider is increasing your Personal Engagement. This is not about other people. This is about YOU.

By increasing your Personal Engagement, I mean proactively finding ways to make your work more engaging to do.

I used to work in Marketing myself, and for whatever reason I just wasn't engaged by it. It drained my energy, and at the end of every day I went home exhausted.

It's what lead me to quit my job in marketing, and go into sales instead. This allowed me to work more with people, and was just a more fun job to do.

Ways to increase your Personal Engagement:

• Find work that gives you more energy;

• Find work that gets you more in touch with other people on a day-to-day basis;

• Apply your (unrelated) personal interests to your work;

• Use more of your natural talents;

• Use your work as "getting paid to learn";

Whatever your situation, make sure you're personally engaged with what you're doing.

4. Personal Gain

Heading down a career path - any career path - is difficult. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. You won't always feel motivated, and you will encounter obstacles.

Achieving your Highest Potential can't only be about giving value to people, without getting something in return.

Achieving your highest potential, has to be worth it to you. And this means that the 4th part of the equation is all about increasing your Personal Gain.

Yes this includes financial gain, but can be in other areas as well.

Ask yourself - How can I find ways to:

• Make more money?

• Make more friends?

• Learn new skills?

• Increase my social status?

• Enjoy the company of other people?

• Get mentors?

• Build a tribe of like-minded people around me?

• Live a more active lifestyle?

• etc.

In Conclusion

As you've noticed, this is a dense topic. "Finding your Purpose," and "Realising your Highest Potential" can be daunting tasks, and honestly might take you a while to figure out.

For most people that's enough to never even try...

I don't know if this article has made you "realise your purpose," right away, but I sincerely hope it's challenged your thinking and set you on a path.

If there's one thing you take from this article, it should be that finding your purpose and achieving your highest potential is within reach.

You don't have to be stuck in a life of quiet desperation.

You don't have to believe you're stuck in a certain career path, just because of a decision made a long time ago...

You can make practical changes to your current life right now.

You can make changes to your current job and career, and as a result get onto a path of achieving your highest potential.

Just find ways to increase the number of lives you touch, and focus on making a deeper positive impact of people's personal lives. Listen to yourself, and find ways to get more engaged by liking the day-to-day of the job.

You can start right now.

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